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It has come to my attention that as I go for my daily walk, or run an errand while on foot, I notice that it is rare to encounter someone looking me in the eye, save the older generation. If people aren’t texting, messaging, calling, emailing, or downloading, they seem to be fiddling with their ipod or blackberry as they rush away through the beautiful sunshine. Enjoying God’s green earth around me I do not understand why you would distract yourself in this manner at one o’clock in the afternoon on a spring day. So I decided to investigate.

Now, I asked a fellow colleague, who was complaining about how her boyfriend hadn’t texted her within the hour,why exactly this was a problem. She told me that she needs to know what he is doing and he likes to know what she is doing throughout the day. Soon after she told me this he texted her. A hugh sigh of relief came over her, “thank God, (he texted), I couldn’t get a hold of you all day!”

Maybe it’s just me, but I long for the days when I used to see people trust their significant other, or be able to function without having to talk to them( or someone) every hour that they are apart or need to make a decision. A lot of people seem to act like it is the end of the world if they cannot consult somebody about colour they should pick out on a quick call from the cell phone in the clothing store or if their wife would prefer broccoli or beans for dinner. Pick one!

I myself almost became victim to this when shopping for some of our wedding decorations. I was in the store trying to decide what kind of candles I should buy and thinking to myself,” If only I had a cell phone, I could call Ken and get him to help me make the decision”. At the moment a sick feeling came into my stomach : Had I become someone who couldn’t make a small decision without the advice of someone else? It was like I had decided to stop thinking and making decisions for myself and act as though I had never even listened to what my husband wanted. Thank God I came to my senses and made the decision and never looked back.

It made me think about how much we as a society invade the personal space of our friends and family on a constant basis. We use every piece of electronic devices to check up on people, have other people make our decisions, not even realizing what it going on all around us. I believe that very few people are able to work on themselves and discover who they are becauset they take no time for personal growth, time away from others, time to be there own person.

So I challenge anyone reading this: tomorrow morning, leave your cell phone at home. Leave your blackberry at the office. Try not answering every email as though you are so desperate for attention. Do not rush to the phone as soon as you walk in the door to check the messages. Go for walk. Take some time for you. I know it’s a big decision, but ….maybe you do have it in you to make that decision on your own. (p.s. don’t text your best friend to decide if this is a good idea or not)!

G

What a beautiful gift this man brought to the world, with no shame or hidden agenda.  Please pray for the soul of Pavarotti and his family. He will be missed.

Grace

Just check out You Tube’s Miss Teen speeches. That’s all I need say…..

I will be the first person to tell you that there is always room for personal growth in my life, as it should be for everyone.  I do not strive to be perfect, I strive to be excellent, and therefore if I have learned something that is true, I believe that I should share it to the best of my ability.

The topic for today is hypocrisy, and the biggest problem I have with hypocrisy is when it is diplayed in religion or faith.  For I have seen in the world, those who claim to be Christian speak the words of truth or of the Word of God, but do not live it out. And yet, those that I see that make no such claim but do, I believe that God must be working in their lives as well.  What I find it comes down to is that hypocrites of religion or faith perhaps do not know what it is to be selfless or truly loving. 

This scripture comes to mind 1Corinthians 13: “If I speak in the tongues of mortals and angels, but do not have love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.  And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing”…This verse goes on to talk about how prophecy and knowledge will end, but love will never end.  If this is so, will those who are hypocrits who speak about God but do not live their life in his love and his teaching, consider themselves to really live the Christian life?

I know for myself that God gave to us many beautiful gifts and that every life is precious. To me, that means that every person I meet needs to be shown the love that God has given me to give to others.  God has given me many gifts like chastity, love, a caring family, good friends, hope, theology, etc…Having study these areas since I was a small child, I feel that truth has been revealed to me in each gift.  I pray everyday that I will walk the walk I talk. And you know what? I’ve never given up yet to be as excellent as I can be.

Please pray for those who speak but do not live it.  You may know the truth, you must still choose  to live it.

Peace to all,

Grace

The last couple days at work have been so busy, the busiest I have ever worked, but after starting my days with longer peaceful prayers, I have two days in a row now, not felt any anger or anxiety in my heart.  I feel like the Holy Spirit is influencing how I behave and that God is giving me great, great strength.

And let me tell you, I needed it. At work, they gave me an assignment two days in a row that would be impossible to do, if it were not for the fact that they assigned a new orientee to work with me who was very proficient in her skills.  You know, it really was amazing, I finally managed to find balance and peace in my heart, knowing full well that my day would be non-stop.

I literally spent about 7-8 hours with one patient today, that’s how heavy it was.  My other patients were lucky to see me.  But I had many tasks to perform (six dressings for the one patient alone, as well as many other tasks) and only 12 hours to do them in.  But somehow, I just kept finding reasons to smile, kept having the energy. On the two days of work in my life so far I should have been crying, I just took it with smile and saw how it was my work and service others that I must do these tasks for the good of the person.  And I think it started with two things…

One: Lent and Easter are wonderful times of re-evaluation and rebirth. I feel so moved to be in a deeper relationship with Christ and living morally it is just so inspiring.

Two:actually, two is two parts. You see, I was taking care of a very heavy patient whose husband kept thanking me and thanking me for fighting for his wife (both of us)  and taking care of her and thanking me more and I usually say “no problem.”  I just thought of this as a kind gesture on his part. However, I went and sat down, literally for one minute in the charting room as I needed a minute to breath.  I picked up a card that a family member had given us for a patient who had died, thanking us for everything we had done.  But what the card explained is the GRATITUDE they felt toward our staff. They spoke of how gratitude towards someone can never be tainted after a certain task is done. It lives with the person who recieves the kindness and is remembered for a lifetime.  I never really thought of it that way but they were right.  Although people can hurt me or I don’t like something they did, if they did a great task for me, the gratitude for that task, for that person was never lost; not once. And so, with this heavy patient, I went into the room and informed him that what we had fought for all day was finally going to happen. I could tell he wanted to hug me, but he reached into his bag instead and gave me a small gift.  With tears in his eyes he patted me on the back and said thank you.  And I got it. I understood his gratitude; I think until that point I thought I had been nursing and not making much of a difference. ( I think a lot of people don’t realize the difference they make everyday).  And now, when I look at him, after his long battle, he looks at me with trust in his eyes.  God bless his soul.

I fell asleep while eating during all of my breaks, my legs were like Jello, my head spinning, I couldn’t have answered one more question if I had tried.  And then, I went out into the hall and I saw a colleauge walking toward me.  She had tears in their eyes.  I can’t say what happened but I had never seen any staff cry before.  I looked at her and asked her what happened, she told me, and I just hugged her and let her cry into my shoulder.  As I tell this story, I get tears in my eyes, but at the time, I didn’t cry.  I just stayed strong and kept going.  I even stayed late to make sure she left okay. 

 At work, I don’t cry, which most people I know probably can’t believe because I, and the women of my family, are weepers.  I cry when babies are born, I cry when a teens’ death is broadcast across the news.  Situations move me more than most people will ever know. I just think life is so precious.

Had I been stressed I may have cried, but God was granting me peace.  I thank God for the strength he gave me today. And you know what? I’m glad, with the help of God, the love of my family, fiance, and friends, I can make it through the tough stuff. I’m glad my life is challenging and tough sometimes.  It really helps me grow….

So, I have to clear something up oh reader. I was sitting here blogging the other day, after I turned my taps off, and there was a knock at my door. The handyman of the building came in and told me he was here to shut my taps off.  I looked at him perplexed and then he explained to me that while he was fixing my light switch, the people belong me needed some assistance witht their plumbing, which required him (for some reason) to turn on my taps. He did this of course while I was not in the apartment.

So, the case of the spontaneous tap is solved!!

Grace

Happy Easter to all!  I just wanted to say that I had a very splendid and interesting Easter with my family, Ken’s family (hosting Easter breakfast at my place), singing at all the masses and spending time with my friends.

To my wonderful fiance, thank you for allowing me to host Easter breakfast and for all the hard work we did preparing, and thanks for putting up with my stress levels.  And driving me home after my glass of wine….

Thanks to all the music ministry and campus ministry volunteers and priests for the wonderful services this weekend as well. 

As we carry on with this glorious Easter season, may we allow Christ to transform our lives and may we live in the peace he gave us.

God bless,

Grace

So, after four days of the beautiful busy bustle of Easter weekend’s beginning, I decided I should rest for a moment and catch an afternoon nap. However, as I lay down on my couch, the pipes in my kitchen sink started to make a funny noise.  About a half and hour later, I found the taps turned ON and running hot and cold water…I still don’t know how this is possible….

G-force

Last week, a great aunt of mine passed away. Her name, Auntie Lena, a treasure of our family.  It was actually one of the happiest memorial services’ I have ever attended.  Everyone was shaking hands, laughing, telling stories, taking pictures and the music and message during the service was very unlifting. The occasional tear was shed, but really a celebration of her life and the life to come was the true focus. 

Auntie Lena was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease ten years ago and since then had been living in different instituitions in Edmonton up until her death. Having known her mostly with the disease, the service was a great chance to learn that she volunteered in the prisons, with church, out in the community, worked at the local Co-op, lived in Drayton Valley; things I never knew about her.

During the tribute to her, her two son in laws stood up and spoke about her life, and how happy they were that they got to know what she liked so that in her dying years, when she couldn’t tell them, she could still be happy because they knew which radio station to turn on, which clothes were her favourite, etc…

And of course, Uncle Paul, her husband was there and he looked better than I had seen him in years.  I myself am marrying a man who stuck by me in times of illness. And I know that if something like that ever happened to my husband, I would never leave his side either. …You see, I think what attracts me to people is there spirit and life force, that is always constant. In regards to Ken, it’s really not what he can do for me but that his very being, his spirit, his soul is what draws me to him. And no matter what can happen to him, on this earth until he passes on, that will always be with him and I will always want to be by him because of this.

Alzheimer’s does run in families, so,I just thought I would let you know a few things about myself in case one day my memory is not quite so good. ..

Chocolate mousse is my favourite dessert, I really enjoy my meals and home cooking is the best. I like to get dressed up and go out to functions like dances, even if I am just watching.  I ‘ll listen to almost any type of music in my car as long as it is played really loud and I can sing along. I like having Sunday afternoons for family time and feel this is the best day to make soup for supper.   I do not like raisons or tuna and I like my hair off my neck sometimes, and sometimes flowing over my back.   Enough to think about yet?

They the one son in law ended the service with a a reading from proverbs…( a few words different in their version)

” A capable wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not harm, all the days of her life.  She seeks wool and flax and works with willing hands. She is like the ships of the merchant, she brings her food from far away. She rises while it is still night and provides food for her household and tasks for her servant-girls. She considers a field and buys it; with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.  She girds herself with strength and makes her arms strong. She perceives that her merchandise is profitable. Her lamp does not go out at night. She puts her hands to the distaff and her hands hold the spindle. She opens her hand to the poor, and reaches out her hand to the needy. She is not afraid for her household when it snows, for all her household are clothed in crimson. ”

“She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. She looks well to the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness.  Her children rise up and call her happy; her husband too, and her praises her: ‘Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.’ Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” (proverbs 31: 10-21,26-31.)

I hope that one day, I will earn the honour of being described this way.

 Grace

I have recently been struggling with a personal issue, one of which I only dread thinking about and raise the level of anxiety in my chest over considerably as I sit on my couch and contemplate what my life is all about. You see, I thought it was an issue between someone I know and myself, but I have since discovered that it is about me.  And for some reason, writing it down for someone to read is what I need to do.  If I don’t, I fear I will never resolve it. 

 I sit on my couch and think to myself : I am sad at the moment; but ten minutes ago, I was okay. Happy, feeling good, feeling as though my confidence could never be broken.  However, as I sit on the couch, I find myself staring at the coffee table, then my bible, then the phone, then my cross stitch project, then the sun streaming through the window.  And the anxiety starts…

With what? with a question I ask myself almost everyday:Do people really know who I am and do they care and respect me enough to love me in all my human dignity?Do they make the effort?and then, the bigger question: Do we do this for each other enough in the world?

Maybe because it’s dinner time and I am accustomed to and love sitting around the table with people at meal times…

However, there is something to this and another issue that has been bothering me the last while.  I try to do the best I can in everything, and of course, everyone expects everyone else to do their best, whether this happens or not.  However, even when I do my best and get great results, some people are still hostile toward me and reject the good result.  In fact, I often notice that when I put little effort in people are more apt to applaud me for it.

When I put in great effort with some of my friends or people I know and make plans with them, I often get stood up or rejected. 

you see, there’s too problems for me.  One:I don’t like playing games, if you want to do something with someone, then do it, if not, don’t.  Two: when people become involved in a friendship, we owe it to one another to be as Christlike and encouraging and supportive to the other person as possible.  Of course, Christ teaches us to do good works without expectation, and I agree. 

I do not expect rewards for doing good deeds or being a good friend or person, and I never have. It’s a great way to live life and it brings me joy everyday because it’s a simple lifestyle.

To my friends who do love me enough and show me, who keep committments, who do not get jealous of me, but encouarge me to grow, who help me grow, who show me respect, a HUGE Thank you.  For although I do not expect it, my soul is raised and my joy is great when you do these things for me in his name.  Please do not think I think little of you, for the reality is, in my human nature, I hold you in high esteem. For I do not expect things and have learned to put this at my core because my Lord commands me to be humble and greatful, not to place blame or my expectation on people.  That is his job.  My job is to live out my life in his name, to his expectation. 

If you cannot meet me for coffee when you say (with no valid reason ie, sickness), take the time and make the effort for me in some way, or any other excuse you make to yourself, please stop pretending to be my friend; you are only convincing yourself to settle for less and then, you act less. 

do not run after what you think is less, always strive for more.  The dread I feel stated above is how we often run after less, but we don’t strive to be the best we can; IN EVERYTHING. 

I myself am resolved to live a life where I will try to do the best I can in everything, treat people the best I can, live the best I can, all for him.

huh…whadda ya know..I feel better already…